Dosti ka rishta dilon se juda hota hai,
Sacha dost hamesha rab ki raza hota hai,
Par jab bhi main apne doston ki shakal dekhta hoon,
Lagta hai pichle janam ki koi badi saza hota hai!
Tere aane se meri zindagi mein bahaar aati hai,
Tu bolta hai toh lagta hai jaise gaaliyon ki bauchhar aati hai,
Kasam se tujhe sudharne ki koshish bohot ki maine,
Par teri harkatein dekh kar kutte ko bhi sharam aati hai!
Socha tha dosti mein jaan tak luta denge,
Tere har ek gham ko hum aag laga denge,
Par jab tune udhaar ke paanch sau (500) rupaye maange,
Humne tay kar liya, ab agle chowk se tujhe bhaga denge!
Dost nahi tu mera bhai hai,
Tere dimaag mein gobar aur aate ki lugaai hai,
Log puchte hain meri is deewangi ka raaz,
Main kehta hoon, is pagle ki dosti ne hi meri matt maari hai.
Khuda se maanga tha ek samajhdaar dost,
Jo mere har gham mein mere paas ho,
Khuda ne tujhe bhej kar upar se message kiya,
"Isko jhel le beta, tera narak ka quota yahi paas ho!"
Tumhari zulfon ke saye mein so jane ko jee chahta hai,
Tumhari meethi baaton mein kho jane ko jee chahta hai,
Par jab tum bina makeup ke achanak video call karti ho,
Kasam se Hanuman Chalisa gaane ko jee chahta hai!
Chand ko tod kar laane ki aukaat nahi meri,
Tare todne ki toh koi baat nahi meri,
Usne bola McDonald's mein burger khila do,
Maine kaha, itni bhayankar aamdani (income) ki daat nahi meri!
Ishq ke samandar mein hum doob kar nikal aaye,
Apni saari pocket money hum unke naam kar aaye,
Usne pucha meri gali mein phir kab aaoge?
Maine bola, jis din bache hue paise tu wapas kar aaye!
Dil ka dard aankhon se behne laga hai,
Mera dil har roz uske baare mein kehne laga hai,
Doctor ko dikhaya toh pata chala,
Pyaar nahi tha, pet mein gas ka gola rehne laga hai!
Woh aayi meri zindagi mein hawa ke jhonke ki tarah,
Aur chali gayi mere paise kha kar dhoke ki tarah,
Ab jab bhi koi ladki mujhe 'Babu' kehti hai,
Main dekhta hoon usko ek khaufnaak toke ki tarah.
Exam ka waqt aaya toh neend bohot aati hai,
Kitab kholte hi humko apni nani yaad aati hai,
Syllabus itna lamba dekh kar lagta hai jaise,
Yeh padhai nahi, yamraaj ki bhejhi hui chithhi aati hai!
Teacher ne pucha batao beta Newton ka rule kya hai,
Maine kaha, single bando ka is duniya mein khoon kya hai,
Mark-sheet aayi toh pitaji ne dande se samjhaya,
Ki asal mein haddiyan tootne ke baad ka sukoon kya hai!
Raat bhar jag kar humne padhai ki,
Subah uthkar humne aisi aakhiri ladaai ki,
Paper dekha toh dimaag dahi ho gaya,
Kyunki humne Maths mein History ki padhai ki!
Hostel ka khana kha kar hum lohe ke ban gaye,
Padhte padhte hum kitab ke chhohe ban gaye,
Socha tha engineer ban kar duniya badlenge,
Par ab toh hum Maggi banane ke bhi mohtaj ban gaye.
Mummy ki chappal mein jaise missile ka dum hai,
Papa ki gaaliyon mein jaise atom bomb hai,
Humne kaha humein bhi ghar mein thodi azaadi chahiye,
Bole, "Ghar se nikal ja nalayak, yahan pehle hi jagah kam hai!"
Rishtedaar aate hain ghar par muh utha kar,
Puchte hain "Beta kya kar rahe ho?" sofa daba kar,
Mera jee karta hai kahun, "Main toh vella hoon,"
Par chup rehna padta hai sharafat ka chola pehan kar.
Subah jaldi uthne ka taana roz sunta hoon,
Phone chalane ka bahaana roz banta hoon,
Mummy kehti hain "Mobile hi tera sabse bada dushman hai",
Aur main usi dushman ke aage apna sir dhunta hoon.
Mahine ki shuruwat mein hum sabse bade raja hote hain,
Dus tareekh aate hi udhaar mangne wale khwaja hote hain,
Jab boss kehta hai 'Weekend pe bhi kaam karna hai',
Toh lagta hai hum insaan nahi, bina aawaz ke bajte huye baaja hote hain!
Subah 9 baje office aane ka mann nahi karta,
Boss ki bekaar baaton ko sunne ka mann nahi karta,
Salary message dekhta hoon toh bas aankh bhar aati hai,
Itni kam rakam mein toh bheek mangne ka bhi mann nahi karta.
Wife ka darr: Shaadi karke maine khud ko aabad kar liya, jail jaane ki zaroorat nahi thi, maine ghar pe hi jugaad kar liya.
Makeup ka jaadu: Chehre par lipa-poti karke woh apsara lagti hai, aur jab muh dhoti hai toh direct khatra lagti hai!
Dieting ka mazaak: Socha tha patla hounga diet karunga yaar, phir momos dikh gaye aur ho gaya dimaag se atyachaar.
Gym body: Body aisi hai jaise hawa ka jhonka uda le jayega, aur attitude aisa jaise akela hi thekedar ko hara aayega.
Ek din maine usse pucha, "Kya tum mujhse thoda pyar karti ho?"
Woh boli, "Pehle batao, tumhare paas bank balance hai, ya sirf time pass karte ho?"
Maine kaha, "Car toh nahi par Metro ka smart card zaroor hai,
Meri cycle ki chain thodi dheeli hai, par iss dil mein thoda guroor hai."
Woh boli, "Mujhe toh Gucci aur Zara ke naye kapde chahiye,"
Maine kaha, "Sarojini Nagar mein sab sasta milega, bas bhaav karte rahiye."
Usne muh banaya aur boli, "Tum toh bade kanjoos nikle,
Pyaar ke naam par tum bilkul hi chooze aur mayoos nikle."
Maine bola, "Madam, sachha aashiq hoon, ATM ki machine nahi,
Tumhari demands sun kar lagta hai jaise tu ladki nahi, tax ki scheme hai nayi.
Acha hua jo pehle hi din tumne apna asli roop dikhaya,
Warna baap ki property bech kar maine tumhara recharge karwaya."
Ab main single hoon aur bohot khush-haal jee raha hoon,
Saste dhabe par baith kar apni kadak chai pi raha hoon,
Na babu na shona, na raat-raat bhar jaagna padta hai,
Ab doston ke sath araam se PUBG/Free Fire khelna sajta hai!